Tuesday, 30 July 2013

The Fair & Being A Mother

Having always loved a fair from being little, the lights, the noise and the smell of candy floss permeating the air. As a teenager being able to go to the fair or as we called it in Leeds the Feast, Woodhouse was the main one we went to, with my mates felt so grown up. I have said before I was a bit of a daredevil so the scariest of rides I would be the first in line. Hearing your favourite chart songs thudded out all added to the buzz. To this day I can't hear Step Right Up (Sideshow) by Barry Biggs without it transporting me to being on a waltzer circa 1976, screaming so the feast lads would spin us faster. We would eye up the feast lads, they usually were, what in today's terms, were quite "ripped" tanned, covered in tattoos and a sleeper glinting in one ear, they seemed dangerous, mysterious and worldly, which they probably were. And we all had the sense not to go near them with a barge pole, despite their efforts. To be honest looking back they targeted the girls that looked equally worldly, not pre pubescent giggly girls that would take way too much time to get a result, they had to strike quickly only being in town for a short space of time.

My love affair with a fair started to diminish when I had kids, the dangers all too apparent and more so the potential for danger. Wrapping every limb around the kids on a ride, glaring at a feast lad if he so much as attempted to spin us, this eventually became imploring looks to please stop the ride, they never do take any notice. Wondering if we are going to get food poisoning from the stall food, taking them while it was still light, this time of day doesn't attract the youths. I took my nieces to Hull fair in their early teens, walking a pace behind them it was very clear how many leering looks the attracted. The fair stopped being fun.

Obviously the excitement in the girls when they see all the posters for the fair coming to town, I can't not take them. They have been nattering me all week so we went on Saturday. T is just like I was, the bigger the scary she wants to be on it. Thankfully my sis in law came too, I just can't go on them anymore, she was happy to. A is just bordering on to moving from the kiddy rides to something a little more adventurous, as I have said before with a bit of health and safety thrown in. The one thing I am more than happy to go on is the bumpers/dodgems which ever you prefer to call them, for me they are called dodgems as I am hell bent on no bastard bumping in to me.

My sister in law said after going on sorts of rides with T "do you know the fair is just not the same", I told her it's called being a mother.

Sha X

Monday, 29 July 2013

Relax, Breathe & Reconnect

All packed, I just needed to nip to the supermarket to get provisions for breakfast the next morning and collect my sister in law who is going to look after the girls at home whilst we are away. Having decided on the point of least resistance it was better to let hubby watch the race and then set off for our secret trip, we were in no rush, I had booked us in for a meal at the local pub for 8 o clock.

We argued before we got in the car. Driving up the A1 the weather reflected my mood, dark,gloomy and grey. The intermittent showers like my silent tears, my mind trying to process the news I had been told last night. Having shared this news with my hubby this morning, he asked how I felt about it, his question was left unanswered, I can't go there in my head just yet and will deal with it as I should when the time comes. Hardly two words were said on the three hour drive, we had no connection at all. I knew there would be, it would be ok.

Arriving literally in the middle of nowhere, the vibes off my hubby weren't good. We had arrived at a little cottage in the Lake District, the living area upstairs with a balcony, log fire if the weather did as promised, the four poster bed downstairs. A babbling brook and woods surrounded us, the use of a hot-tub in a peaceful location. His reaction left me feeling deflated.

He said he felt like Jason Bourne being taken off the grid. After doing a bit of a reccy of the area we weren't actually a million miles from civilisation, he checked his location on his phone to get his bearings. I thought I was just doing something nice booking us a few days away, just us, the control bit of him as in just being male, felt out of sorts. As a big control freak myself, much more than he is, I got that.

We went out for dinner, chatted to others having a break and the locals. The layers of all our daily responsibilities began to peel away, getting used to being a couple again without the usual distractions of the girls. In bed we laughed so hard and loud I was worried we would disturb the people next door. We talked and laughed long in to the night. It was ok as I knew it would be, we just needed the time to reconnect as a couple.

A bit of a lie in, hubby cooked a full English and off we went to explore. Every turn and bend presenting majestic breathtaking views, I love it here in the Lakes, it makes you feel so insignificant yet so glad to be on this planet all at the same time, in complete wonderment that somewhere could be so breathtakingly beautiful. It is good for the heart and the soul to be surrounded by it all, it soothes you.

Time to relax, breathe and reconnect on all levels.

Sha X

Sunday, 14 July 2013

The 6 P's

Like coming up to Christmas, the end of the summer term heralds a zillion events at school. It all hots up, pardon the pun, we are experiencing glorious weather at the moment, in the old days we called it "summer". Everything that can be is crammed in to the last two weeks of term, making me a bit dizzy. We have trips, sports days, dress up days, dress down days. The letters home from school like paper darts. Oh and the don't forget the sun cream, hat and water bottle reminders.

Friday evening was the school summer BBQ. We held a brief meeting in the millennium garden, or as A calls it, the limenium garden. We needed to dot i's and cross t's. I for one cannot wait to relinquish the role of Chair of the PTA, this would be my last event. I have found it to be a challenge like plaiting fog. I went to school straight after work to help set up ready for serving hot dogs, burgers and kebabs. The accompanying stuff like salad, coleslaw and drinks is provided by the parents. I had mine prepared in the fridge instructing hubby to bring it with him, he forgot it. As it was a lovely evening weather wise, we were rushed off our feet meeting the demand. My hair flicks up all over when I get sweaty, making me look like a deranged menopausal woman.

We get involved in community work as a company and Saturday was my turn to help out at a church in York for a couple of hours. It was like a bloody oven in the church I thought it would be all cool in there. Donning a pinny, regulations, I set to with the washing up, drying and clearing tables plus a stint on the cake stall. I was the youngest helper there and were very grateful, however I did observe knowing smiles from the older ladies who have really got over working at the pace women of my age feel like we have to go at, they would nip off for a wander around the market while afterward I nipped into M&S for something for tea. They are wise old birds, they have done all that and the huge clue is in the word "volunteering". I rushed back home, top lip sweating and flicked up hair.

Today our company were competing in the Dragon Boat Race and as I didn't put myself forward to be part of the team I thought it would be nice to take the kids for an afternoon by the river to support our team. The main thing that struck me, as it does every time I go to an outdoorsy event, is I am so crap at it. I tip up just about remembering the sun cream and money. All around me have chairs and blankets, wet wipes, food and drink in cooler boxes, mini bbq's and every weather eventuality covered. These people when asked has anyone got a candle that repels mosquito's you can bet your bottom dollar they will have one. I'm busy wandering off to find a shop so the kids don't die of dehydration or starvation, paying through the nose for the privilege.

Watching a group of kids whose mother had just handed them oat cakes, the kind of kids who have hair that means they are expressing themselves, they were inching down to the river bank without being reprimanded T started to follow suit, I told her no, there was an electric speaker on the bank that she could get caught up in fall in the river get electrocuted and then drown, I know a bit Final Destination but that is how my mind works. T looked at me with a half smile and a roll of her eyes in a my nana is barking way.

An old boss used to have a saying "Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance". I may fall short  on the planning for outdoorsy stuff but I am a sorter and your kids will be safe on my watch.

Oh and today I wore a hat.

Sha X

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