Something has been niggling me most of the day today, thoughts popping in my head as to how my daughter is doing, wanting to ring her to check she is alright and is settling in with the others. Now to most mothers that would sound perfectly normal. I can assure you for me it is most definitely not my normal.
Lugging my daughters belongings up the very steep steps to, for her is a place of trepidation, the unknown coupled with excitement of a whole new life. We were greeted at the door by a middle aged man with a kind face. He made us a drink, something he said stuck with me. I was allowed to stay for a while having my cup of tea in the lounge area, chatting to the other people resident here, a warm welcoming group who it was very apparent had great respect for each other and a fantastic camaraderie. They all knew the score, those I met wanted to be there, they had hit their rock bottom and wanted change. Seeing the delight in others achievements and accomplishments was palpable in this room. I was asked very nicely to leave, it was time for my daughter to integrate with this group of people. We hugged, kissed, goodbyes said, no tears. As I descended the steep steps kind face man said to me "She'll be fine here you know" looking back at him my response was "I know she will". And I felt that in the whole being of my body.
No telephone contact is allowed for the first four days, a visit can't be made until over a week of being there. My love for my daughter is something never in question for me, my like for her over the past years has. She isn't someone I would choose to spend time with as that brings a whole heap of emotions and issues neither of us deal with very well. When I don't see her its not that I don't worry about her I have adopted the attitude of no news is good news. Spending time with her yesterday it was like meeting someone for the first time and thinking I quite like you.
Having time today to process yesterday. What the kind face man said was "Its like having two lives, one as an addict, the other clean". This man has had those two lives, he's walked the walk. Hopefully my daughter can do the same. She is always on my mind. My wish is for her to be firmly back in my heart too.
Sha X
Lugging my daughters belongings up the very steep steps to, for her is a place of trepidation, the unknown coupled with excitement of a whole new life. We were greeted at the door by a middle aged man with a kind face. He made us a drink, something he said stuck with me. I was allowed to stay for a while having my cup of tea in the lounge area, chatting to the other people resident here, a warm welcoming group who it was very apparent had great respect for each other and a fantastic camaraderie. They all knew the score, those I met wanted to be there, they had hit their rock bottom and wanted change. Seeing the delight in others achievements and accomplishments was palpable in this room. I was asked very nicely to leave, it was time for my daughter to integrate with this group of people. We hugged, kissed, goodbyes said, no tears. As I descended the steep steps kind face man said to me "She'll be fine here you know" looking back at him my response was "I know she will". And I felt that in the whole being of my body.
No telephone contact is allowed for the first four days, a visit can't be made until over a week of being there. My love for my daughter is something never in question for me, my like for her over the past years has. She isn't someone I would choose to spend time with as that brings a whole heap of emotions and issues neither of us deal with very well. When I don't see her its not that I don't worry about her I have adopted the attitude of no news is good news. Spending time with her yesterday it was like meeting someone for the first time and thinking I quite like you.
Having time today to process yesterday. What the kind face man said was "Its like having two lives, one as an addict, the other clean". This man has had those two lives, he's walked the walk. Hopefully my daughter can do the same. She is always on my mind. My wish is for her to be firmly back in my heart too.
Sha X
3 comments:
*Hugs*
Beautiful post, Sharon.
Have a look here http://maddogwomanofshackleford.blogspot.co.uk/p/versatile-blogger-award.html
Lesley x.
Thank you Lesley X
I have checked out your link x
Sha x
Hi Sharon, love the blog. Thanks for the like on Pinterest. You must get yours up and running as it will promote your Blog.
Have you considered writing articles to compliment your Blog and earn from it. Go to my link and sign up to Hub Pages. From what I can see from your Blog you would fit in really well.
http://poshcoffeeco.hubpages.com
By the way I am originally from mucky Leeds but have lived in Peterborough for last 13 years.
Great to meet you.
If I can help just let me know.
Regards
Steve Mitchell
(poshcoffeeco)
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