Today there were signs of of my coming out of as I call it "my cotton wool head". I can't really explain what it means it just sums up for me where my head is at. I hate having it, its not like being in a fluffy beatific state of mind, its more like functioning but not on all cylinders, more of a feeling of somehow being disconnected.
After the school run I set my stall out so to speak, quick cup of tea and flick around the house, then hit the phone at 10.00am to get my diary filled, I would have a break at eleven, carry on until lunchtime, have lunch then back on the phone until school run time. Nothing focuses the need to book appointments than a call from Sales Manager to say I have the pleasure of his company next Wednesday, I had better get my head out of my arse. I pretty much stuck to that plan apart from calls from hospital about mum's coming home date and calls from daughters case worker to organise this and that. Four appointments booked in, unfortunately so far not one for Wednesday!
Today after school it was parents evening, firstly I checked out T's neatly stacked pile of books, she struggles but is trying very hard. Some of the things they say in their school books are comical and some make you cringe with embarrassment, you truly hope the teacher doesn't really believe everything that is written. Next was Reception as there were no books to look at I studied the work on the walls and pictures of the class doing all kinds of fun things. Then I clocked the "What we did in the Holidays" wall, some of the parents had written what their kids had done, a handful had done the works, full story boards with captions and pictorial evidence of each activity all neatly typed up......I burst in to tears, looking at these made me feel desperately inadequate in my care giving for the girls, I hadn't even bothered to fill it in as we had done nothing particularly exciting in the holidays. Trying to pull myself together before my allocated time of meeting the teachers another mum put her arms around me asking what's wrong, me saying "oh I'm fine" how could I tell her the "wall" had made me feel I was doing such a shit job.
The mum went on to say she had "cotton wool head" times although not describing it as such, her mum was ill her sister had just emigrated and she missed her so very much, I told her about the "wall" and we laughed when she confessed she had burst in to tears when she lost the decorated egg the kids were to carry around for a week in school.
The feedback from the teachers was positive, T's teacher could not believe on a trip ice skating today that T had never set foot on a rink before, she said she has a real talent for ice skating and A's teacher was very pleased with how her reading is coming on in leaps and bounds.
Walking up the path home I noticed the little white cotton bud flowers appearing on the plum tree, the start of the full blown blossom show that will be here in the next few weeks. The sign of those cotton buds flowers will diminish my cotton wool head in no time at all.
Sha X
After the school run I set my stall out so to speak, quick cup of tea and flick around the house, then hit the phone at 10.00am to get my diary filled, I would have a break at eleven, carry on until lunchtime, have lunch then back on the phone until school run time. Nothing focuses the need to book appointments than a call from Sales Manager to say I have the pleasure of his company next Wednesday, I had better get my head out of my arse. I pretty much stuck to that plan apart from calls from hospital about mum's coming home date and calls from daughters case worker to organise this and that. Four appointments booked in, unfortunately so far not one for Wednesday!
Today after school it was parents evening, firstly I checked out T's neatly stacked pile of books, she struggles but is trying very hard. Some of the things they say in their school books are comical and some make you cringe with embarrassment, you truly hope the teacher doesn't really believe everything that is written. Next was Reception as there were no books to look at I studied the work on the walls and pictures of the class doing all kinds of fun things. Then I clocked the "What we did in the Holidays" wall, some of the parents had written what their kids had done, a handful had done the works, full story boards with captions and pictorial evidence of each activity all neatly typed up......I burst in to tears, looking at these made me feel desperately inadequate in my care giving for the girls, I hadn't even bothered to fill it in as we had done nothing particularly exciting in the holidays. Trying to pull myself together before my allocated time of meeting the teachers another mum put her arms around me asking what's wrong, me saying "oh I'm fine" how could I tell her the "wall" had made me feel I was doing such a shit job.
The mum went on to say she had "cotton wool head" times although not describing it as such, her mum was ill her sister had just emigrated and she missed her so very much, I told her about the "wall" and we laughed when she confessed she had burst in to tears when she lost the decorated egg the kids were to carry around for a week in school.
The feedback from the teachers was positive, T's teacher could not believe on a trip ice skating today that T had never set foot on a rink before, she said she has a real talent for ice skating and A's teacher was very pleased with how her reading is coming on in leaps and bounds.
Walking up the path home I noticed the little white cotton bud flowers appearing on the plum tree, the start of the full blown blossom show that will be here in the next few weeks. The sign of those cotton buds flowers will diminish my cotton wool head in no time at all.
Sha X
2 comments:
What a funny-sad-funny-happy post, if you know what I mean!
It's all about ups and downs, bitter-sweet, strawberry cremes and caramel truffles.
I'm rambling - take care and best wishes,
Lesley x.
I do know what you mean Lesley, your rambling made me giggle.
You take care too X
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