Having arranged everything so that on my Big birthday day I had nothing to do, as in go anywhere, just tidy up and get dressed so at least I was presentable if anyone came to visit. Hubby had arranged to go out for a meal that evening with my daughter and the girls. The prospect of a meal out with my daughter didn't particularly appeal as it's just not something we have done in many years and the thought of it put me a little on edge.
T mentioning we were going to the poshest restaurant in town had the control freak in me needing to know where we were going, I needed to know what to wear, seeing hubby getting dressed in his best suit I thought I had better revise my decision to wear trouser's and a top, whilst having a moan at him that I would have got the girls new dresses, this was clearly a dress up place. My hyperventilating started when I got in the car and steadily increased until we pulled in to the car park of my favourite Thai restaurant. Feeling much calmer now knowing what was happening, ushered in to a room I was greeted by my sister, brother in law and my friend of 40 years with her husband, I burst in to tears. My birthday is always a bit of a non event as people if they are going out want to do that Christmas Eve, so was a little overwhelmed that they had made such an effort to come. My brother then arrived, followed by my son and his girlfriend. Conniving little bastards, I had only tweeted her that afternoon to say have a safe journey up North tonight. We had a wonderful evening, my planned thank you speech didn't quite come out how I had envisaged it in my head, my emotions just got the better of me, being with the people I love is always my happy place.
Lucky me, between my birthday and Christmas gifts most of what was on my wish list I received, damn I forgot to put Jason Statham on it! Any present given to me gets put in my room in piles until I can take it on board or allocate it a place, it's a bit like they are not really mine, I also have an odd tendency to think I will save it for "best" it could be a Catholic hang up of not worthiness or a perfectly presented gift box I am reluctant to mess up.
Today my hubby gave me one of the best gifts ever, he has taken the girls to Liverpool to see his family, as much as I love seeing his family, the prospect of a day being totally on my own won out. The gift of time to breathe, time to think and time just do nothing is a very rare treat for me, he has put me under no pressure at all to go along. My first thoughts were I could catch up on jobs in the house, no visitors expected, I have nowhere I need to be, tackle the ironing and washing pile, I then had a "word".
I am going to embrace this gift of time, and to hell with saving stuff for best, bloody hell although I know 50 isn't actually ancient, it is time for me to not save these things and realise the "best" is for right now. My Jo Malone candle is lit, a new book downloaded on my Kindle, Rom com on the telly, water hot ready for my pamper bath with all my lovely new goodies, the gorgeous red handbag will be taken off the pile and put in to use. I will have lots tea with maybe a slice of my homemade Christmas cake.
Sometimes it takes a gift not in a box to enjoy those gifts that did come in a box.