Sunday, 14 August 2011

The Living Years

"I wasn't there that morning when my Father passed away
I didn't get to tell him all the things I had to say"

This line from the Mike & Mechanics song resonates very strongly with me because I wasn't.

It was a glorious sunny June day, the day before Father's Day, I had gone to work it was Saturday. I worked as an Area Supervisor for a cleaning company, we did mainly retail outlets so working Saturday's was part & parcel of the job. I covered quite a large geographical area but liked to try to be more local to home on Saturdays. This was in the days of no mobile phone's pager's etc. I always told my boss where I was going but never usually bothered to inform my husband.

I had done my job visiting a couple of store's checking standards, chatted to the cleaners and speaking with the store manager's. The nature of the industry is an early start, so I was usually done by about 10am. The only thing I had to do before going home was a get a Father's Day card. I clearly remember like it was yesterday being in Clinton's picking up a jokey card for him and then thought I never tell him I love him, so kept the joke card as it was very apt but also got another that said all the things I wanted to say.

My father was not a tall man but what he lacked in stature he more than made up for in personality and heart, he was a sorter, whatever problem I went to him with he would know what to do. He made me feel safe. He was funny, quick witted, very sarcastic and his most endearing qualities could also be his most irritating. He would turn up in the most obscure place's to check I was ok (sometimes welcome, sometimes not). His tardiness was shocking, I said at his funeral "He was always there for you, just not always on time" I didn't care much for his fart sharing! (he thought this was funny). He taught me to honour deals and promises, treat people the way you like to be treated, a strong sense of right and wrong, a  good work ethic, if a job is worth doing do it well and he loved to do a deal, so long as neither party were getting shafted. He made me feel very loved.

I arrived home that Saturday in a great mood and couldn't wait to show my husband the funny card for my Dad..........and then my world fell apart. My husband had the unenviable job of telling me my Dad was dead, I didn't believe him, I remember hearing this horrible animal howling sound, it was me.

I was in total shock,  my husband drove me to the hospital, I remember so clearly the Rose of Sharon flowers outside the hospital and going in to the hospital they said he was on another ward to which we had been told. It's not true he's not dead they have got him mixed up with someone else.

They hadn't and I was led into the family room, my mum, sister, brother's were in there, they had all been there when he died. I hadn't.

Tell someone you love them TODAY

Sha x


3 comments:

Kala said...

:(

You write so well, took me into that hospital with you. Will read the other blogs as well.

I love you xxx

Sha said...

Ahh bless you Kala, I love you too x

Jaz said...

You write from the heart and that's what makes it so beautiful x

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